Sunday, August 27, 2006

Damn You, Stephen Thomas Erlewine!

Now I have to listen to it.

update: I just put 5 stars next to Paris Hilton's cover of "Do You Think I'm Sexy" --- now I'm going outside to smoke tobacco and consider suicide.

Currently Listening:
By Paris Hilton
that's hot!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

In Which Our Hero... [mix ten]

The good news is, I liked this mix so much that I'm actually gonna try not to half-ass this post. That doesn't mean it won't be half-assed. The mp3s will be available whichever way is simplest, easiest, and of the least amount taxing to my brain. (Probably links to some free online crapdump.) The mp3s will be available. For fucking once, right right.

Moving along, the "structural concept" of this mix is based on a Matmos album, I think. To accomodate this structure I have not been including the artists or song titles with distributed physical copies of this mix. However the files at the end of the links own their proper names and the """real tracklist""" is listed here at the bottom of this entry, hidden in this same ridiculous primitive style. I've taken the liberty of further insulting the conceit by modifying it in a particularly tasteless and brute fashion, as you'll see.

"In Which Our Hero..." also has a plot. I've tried basic, easy plots in the past, shit like "party night, start to finish!!!" and "birthday party!" and "dance mix #462" you know, crap. Woo! Wooooo! No no no, I've moved on to something a bit deeper, something you shouldn't put on before you go out. This is something you put on when you know you're not going out for the next few nights, like for the next few months.

I give you a "breakup mix" just for the hell of it. Enjoy!

In Which Our Hero...

  1. Has A Nightmare.

  2. Wakes, & Remembers the Night Before, Why She Left.

  3. Regrets Asking Her To Leave

  4. Mutters A Sad "Fuck It" To Himself & Vows To Move On

  5. Tries To Move On. Tries & Tries & Tries & Tries.

  6. Is Blue, & Unwell.

  7. Considers A Change, Considers A Monastery.

  8. Gets Himself Together, Man, & Rededicates His Love of Women.

  9. Meets The Girl of His Dreams, Unexpectedly.

  10. Has A Grand Old Time

  11. Starts The Process All Over Again

God, it's sooo sad! It's utterly ridiculous, on its face, it stinks like 6pm armpits, and it has no heart. Were this mix human, it would be 17 years old & emo. It's funny, really. But listen to it. It moved me on a Mexican rooftop in the middle of the night. I was lucky I didn't fall off and, like, die.

This is so embarassing. Ok, here's the tracklist, all ninja I CHANGED MY TEMPLATE AND AM A LAZY MAN:

01. How Do I Know - Akron/Family
02. Weather Systems - Andrew Bird
03. Make It Hot - Mirah
04. Girl In The War - Josh Ritter
05. Metarie - Brendan Benson
06. Peach, Plum, Pear - Joanna Newsom
07. My Sister Said - Angels of Light
08. Promise - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
09. Hello Sunshine - Super Furry Animals
10. Just Like Betty Page - The Jazz Butcher
11. For Me - Mara Carlyle

You coulda just read your browser bar mousing over the links listed above, but no, I just had to make sure there was some wacky gadget going on the whole time. Motherfucking wicked.

Also, just to be totally transparent, I'm claiming that this mix, its format, and its theme are in no way related to any recent romantic turmoil I may or may not have experienced, and suspecting the opposite. And there's a really obvious weather sub-theme or whatever. Whatever.

Friday, May 19, 2006

two for d. [mix eight & mix nine]

Disc One
I spent weeks gathering songs, ordering them, rejecting them and replacing them, re-ordering them, and basically jiggering with this collection until I was happy with it. It's not perfect, but there's a lot of subtlety in the thematics and the flow.

01. 4 - Alarm Will Sound
02. Be Gentle With Me - The Boy Least Likely To
03. Cravo E Canela - Tortoise & Bonnie 'Prince' Billy
04. Faster Gun - The Wrens
05. Elegant Transaction - Loose Fur
06. Jackie O. & Farrah F. (short vers.) - Steve Martin
07. Everybody Seems To Think (You've Got Some Kind of Hold On Me) - The Deadly Snakes
08. Funny Little Frog - Belle & Sebastian
09. Everyday Feels Like Sunday - Of Montreal
10. 3000 Flowers - Destroyer
11. Islands - Cat Power
12. Raised Eyebrows - The Feelies
13. Quand Le Son Devient Aigu, Jeter La Girafe A La Mer - A Hawk & A Hacksaw
14. Convenient Parking - Sun Kil Moon
15. Hatchet - Retribution Gospel Choir
16. Bean Vine Blues #2 - M. Ward
17. After It All - Cat Power
18. Smile - Kevin Blechdom

Disc 2
Now, it took me so long to put together the previous mix that d. had already sent hers and I'd had it for quite some time. I felt bad for being tardy in putting mine in the mail, so I slapped together another little disc of tunes, divided into two 'sides'. Side A, save track 1, is a shredding build-up of fun, throbbing, crazy music. Side 2 keeps the crazy but sheds the shredding in favor of more ear-friendly, gentler songs. I broke lots of my 'rules' for mix CDs putting this tiny thing together, but I think it works really well all the same.

Side A
01. Son of the Earth - Destroyer
02. Apostolic - Loose Fur
03. Without MSG I Am Nothing - Mclusky
04. The Rat - The Walkmen
05. Dragonattack - Donna Summer

Side 2
06. Egaberte - The Books
07. II/XV - Bonnie 'Prince' Billy & The Marquis de Tren
08. Short-Wave-Hum (Stutter) - Holopaw
09. Killer Cars (live) - Radiohead
10. Say Goodnight - Neutral Milk Hotel-ish

I hand-made sleeves for both of the mixes. I wish I'd've scanned them or something, because they were pretty neat. You'll have to track d. down to see 'em, I guess.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

how to get a girl to come over on Valentine's Day

I accosted Jerry as he walked through the mall on his break. He was on his way to get coffee, and walking fast. I had to raise my voice a bit and put a little hustle on to catch up to his attention.

"I was wondering if I could get a case for my cheap-ass shades? Can you do that?"

"Yeah, sure. When are you off?"


"Alright, just come over after you're done and we'll take a look at you."

I'd helped Jerry track down music he liked, and I'd been lucky playing the suggestion game for him. He liked my taste, and I appreciated his. Since meeting a few years ago we'd only meet when he was out getting coffee. I had 20/20 so there was never a need to track him down for any reason, but he sought me out on the music front. And he would tell me about his courtship, subsequent marraige, and eventual divorce. He was unlucky on that front, and mostly I nodded along in silent sympathy.

I waltzed in to Jerry's store after clocking out, shiny new (shitty cheap) aviators tucked neatly atop my head, and saw he had a customer. Time nicked new lenses as I busied myself asking some of the wandering clerks and technicians why everyone in the store wore corrective lenses, and whether I could hope for a job there someday if I never needed to wear glasses. Did 20/20 employees wear fake lenses? Did they mind selling ugly frames to blind people? What's the next big innovation in eyewear after Oakley's awesome goggles/mp3 player setup? Can you get that in tortoise shell?

Jerry made himself available eventually, and I sat down at a back counter.

"Let's see 'em."

"Yeah, basically they're the crap you get at the kiosk by the food court. I just want something to keep them from getting scratched."

"Not so bad. Spring-loaded ear pieces. These nose rests are lame, though. I'll be right back, put some nice ones on there."

Now, when Jerry went back into the lab, I could see him chest-up through a plate glass window. He turned to face me and set to work on something I couldn't see. He focused on the task at hand. Few minutes later he looked up, smiled, and came back to the counter. My glasses looked the same when he handed them back to me; nose pieces still clear just like they were before. For all I know he was filing his nails back there, but sure they fit much nicer now.

"They should bounce a little on your nose, without sliding down." He deomonstrated the action while my specs were in place, I didn't flinch. "These are a bit long, here," and nabbed the glasses off my face. I didn't flinch.

He heated the frames and twisted them around. He cleaned the lenses with a spritz. The shades fit now, snug and shiny. Finally, now, the case.

"Black or blue?"

"Black, thanks for all this, Jerry."

"Come back any time." He shook my hand, and I took the case and walked out of the store.

On the bus ride home, I felt safe behind my tight mirrors. I did one of the crossword puzzles in the paper and promptly fell asleep with my knees tucked up against the seat ahead. I woke up to a hundred school kids yelling and swinging trumpets and violas at my head.

I noticed it as soon as I walked into my dark apartment. She'd left her black scarf on my bedside table. I put it on and waited.

Currently Listening:
Your Blues
By Destroyer

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

a day for all night long

during the night before last (Monday night, I guess), I didn't sleep. all day Monday, I didn't sleep. Tuesday afternoon I slept on into the evening, about 3 hours.

Home from work Monday afternoon, I shared some music. Co-worker and pianist Wendy came over to steal all of it. I'd be angry, but I invited her to do it. She took one look at the cabinet in the bathroom and the disarray in the kitchen and the sloughing bookshelves here in this room and went straight for the computer. We plugged in and she was off.

"Take it all."

"I'm taking everything I don't already have."

"That makes sense. Maybe you should take some stuff you already have, too."

"But I have it already."

"Can you be absolutely sure about that?"

"Look, buddy, if I have it already then I already have it. See?"

"Do you want me to unplug this thing right now? I could turn this all around in a second, and then where would you be?"

"I'd be in your position..?"

"Right, and who wants that? I don't want to turn that around for you, and I certainly don't want that for me. What if it didn't work out? I only have so much personal space, and if people are switching things around into it without taking the common courtesy of removing me first or I forget to take me out when switching things around, it can get crowded."

"I'm taking all your music now, shut up."

"It's all good. Take it all."

(Lips Pursed, Ignoring, Furiously Mousing Around)

By the time Wendy left someone else--let's call 'em Marge--Marge had helped herself over my fine threshold and into my heart. She kept me awake and honest throughout the night. She smelled like human when we were close.

When she made her leave at some completely inappropriate hour I helped myself to a bit o' the internet and settled in for a long two more hours before I had to catch the bus to work. Joe Camel rang the time out occasionally (monotonous, but time flies when you're having fun) and I kept close tabs on everything he had to say.

I went to work looking like I got laid. How do I know this, chap like me? The boxcutters asked me if I was feeling lucky when I got in. I said pretty lucky, but no, not getting any luckier than usual. Then I had to give real reasons for the anglofro. Which was good fun, and dishonest.

I slept through my bus stop on the way home, and had to ride a ways before I was able to settle into bed, snuggle up with heavy lids, and proceed to NOT SLEEP A WINK FOR TOO FUCKING LONG.

then, as I pondered creative ways to die, I lost my train of thought and fell asleep.

Monday, I guess you could say--and I guess is all else I'm gonna say on it--was a day for all night long.

Currently Listening:
By Jose Gonzalez